Dr. · Larry · Langford

So I'm finally back in Jefferson County where I belong. It's been quite a ride, as they say.

I spent the first few days after Hurricane Katrina floating around New Orleans in a rescue boat with Sean Penn. We saw some things that will definately stick with me for the rest of my life. I don't even know where to start!

Sean is one crazy hombre, I can tell you that. I saw him smoke enough of the pot to put down a mule, but he just kept on piloting that boat like it was nothing.

At night, after we had collected enough bloated corpses to get our check from FEMA, he would start drinking again. This would usually end up with him donning the "Free mustache rides" T-shirt, and trolling the Superdome for underaged refugee tang. At this point, I would usually break away and hit the payphones to call Shelia. One night, he got so shithoused that he left the dome, wandered what was left of the city, and ended up taking a gigantic shit on the bridge to Gretna.

He was really a handful. I'm suprised he wasn't shot at by the Gretna police like these people!

After all that, I just had to take a vacation. I told my wife that I was staying on for another few weeks to help with the cleanup, and met Shelia in Key West. We had a really fantastic time, spending our days and nights humping like rabbits. It was a much needed respite from the insaity of both my wife, and Sean.

Then along came Wilma.

I knew we couldn't evacuate, because I would have no choice but to return home, and my wife has been asking a lot of questions lately. She's always wondering aloud why I am still in New Orleans, long after the volunteer effort seemed to have mostly stopped. I would always come back with something like "Just because it's not on the news every day doesn't mean it's over!"

We decided to ride out the storm. It was actually quite romantic, though a tad scary. After a few days, Shelia and I got tired of listening to chainsaws buzzing, and realized that it was time to come home and get some work done.

So here we are.

P.S. Richard Scrushy=NOT GUILTY!

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